You Are My Sunshine
18 09 2013 • Tanya Kazeminy Mackay
You are my sunshine…
(My only sunshine – You make me happy when skies are grey.)
Whenever I speak with new mamas (almost all mamas actually) I hear the dichotomy of the strong, strong magnetic pull towards baby and the slightly guilty need to break away and rediscover herself as a single entity.
This is totally natural. Please do not feel guilty. The truth is, the more you reconnect with yourself as an individual, the more you will have to give to your child and your family. You are the sunshine from which your child draws light and energy… the more you shine, the more you have to give. So it is really very important to feed yourself as the source.
So carve out a little time for yourself. Stop shaking your head; this is not impossible, it is just a matter of finding the opportunity and asking for help. It is best if it can be a regular time slot… and really just an hour will do although if you can find a safe, happy carer for a longer period by all means enjoy it. What about a Thursday evening, and when your baby’s daddy comes home he is in charge from 6 till 8.
This means he gets time on his own, which is crucial for his bond with baby. You get time on your own, which is crucial to you recharging your sunshine. Because it is a regular slot, you can find a yoga class and commit to it every Thursday, or a book club or just plan a glass of wine with a friend.
And maybe it’s a grandma or aunt or neighbour who holds out their hand to your request for assistance. But so long as the hand is kind and safe, it is going to be a win win for them and for you and your baby. You learn that is okay to trust your baby to another, and your baby learns that love is all around them.
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