My motherhood by Dondi

Planning for the future, living in the present.


At this point in our lives we are planning ten years out.  What financial position will be in when our daughter is 13? What sense of freedom lost will we regain at some later date after some smart investing? Pushing 40, I always thought my life would be different at this time in my marriage, in our lives together as a family, with our almost three year old.


What it’s really about for us is not keeping up with the Jones.  Our primary focus is how to increase our everyday learning, happiness, and joy. We aspire to stay in the present moment in the midst of chaos, to cultivate more patience and presence in the middle of learning to use the potty, to sleep through the night and facilitate an ever-expanding vocabulary. With our continuous answers to the ever-present question, “Why?” We evolve our perception of the world through her eyes and our own.


Yeah, we could buy a new car or home. We could rack up more debt. Or, at this time when she’s a complete sponge, we could instill in her the wisdom that you really don’t need everything you desire to be truly happy. What is working for us as parents is to allot enough time in own schedules to make a little heart feel of value. What she seems to thrive upon, as a little person (with a stay at home parent) is enough stimuli in a day to make her continuously ask more questions. What we need as her parent(s) is the space and time to ponder greater and larger perspectives and increase our own communication with each other…queue the bi-monthly date night. Our loftiest intention is to expand our own ability to foster her greatest expansion… the moment-to-moment recognition of her blossoming neuro-pathways that may be underutilized if overlooked.


Planning for the future, living in the present


We’re constant observers of what our family needs from day to day. We’re growing as parents/people…baby steps forward and a few steps back. To constantly facilitate the evolution of our daughter; as a magnified version of ourselves, through our conscientious presence, is a tall order. We strongly disagree, she hears our stern voices, and she notices EVERYTHING. Most of the time though there is laughter and great fun.


This week, I’ve questioned my resolve to stay rooted in one place. I’ve had fantasies of trading dollars for pesos and moving to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. I look at my friends out gallivanting across the globe or moving onto buy their dream homes and wonder how we’re measuring up. To subdue my underlining state of discontent, I only have to look at what the Bhutanese government refers to as their “Gross National Happiness” scale. Our ability to be parents who can provide our young child with beauty and magic depends not on the place we live or the things we have, but the joy we create and radiate. After all, geography and material goods will never bring one lasting happiness. It’s all about where we are in our heads and inside our hearts.


Dondi, Joe and Kaia Tondro-Smith live on a mountain top overlooking the stunning Snake River in Wyoming. Mom is a writer, yoga instructor and massage therapist centered on elevating consciousness through thoughtful observations of how people live expanded and vibrant lives.

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