My motherhood by Lottie Daley
11 07 2013 • My Motherhood
My motherhood has taught me so much about what it means to me to be a woman.
I learned to be body confident for the first time in my life when I was pregnant with Mia. When I held my tiny newborn in my arms for the first time I felt pride that my body had grown a beautiful healthy baby girl from a bunch of cells. Now, even when I get downcast about the size of my arse or the way my boobs hang, the fact whenever I gain even a smidgeon of weight it sits on my mummy tummy, I still feel proud that my body carried and birthed my daughter.
When I couldn’t breastfeed initially, my heart broke into pieces and I felt my first stab of GUILT. GUILT, as we know, is our new default setting and the pressure to be perfect (placed upon myself) was overwhelming. Yet despite shockingly bad advice from local health visitors and my GP we managed to successfully establish breastfeeding all on our own and still do, 19 months on. Left with PND from a difficult birth where communication between caregivers and myself was nil, where trust in my body was absent, where nurses told me off for picking my baby up too much, where books told me I was doing it all wrong, and where my instincts were fighting against what everyone on my birth board was doing, what society deemed normal, how my parents and their parents raised them, how folk in soap land tended to their children, everything everyone around me was doing was juxtaposed with what felt right for me.
Eventually, I had to build the inner strength and conviction to find my very own way forward. I stopped trying to make her sleep on her own and took her in my bed, where she remains today. I triumphed at breastfeeding and I taught myself how to care for her naturally using homeopathy.I bought a sling (or five) and I keep her close. I chose to stay at home and retrain as a HypnoBirthing practitioner, because I want to empower women to listen to their hearts, and educate themselves on birth, on being a mother, because it’s all there inside of us already, we just have to trust in our bodies, in our instincts because mothers are very seldom wrong.
Motherhood to me means sacrifice, endurance, gentle parenting and following your heart, even if it’s opposite to what everyone else is doing. Motherhood is being your child’s strongest advocate, after all, mum knows best.
Lottie Daley is a hypno birthing practitioner in London where she lives with her gorgeous bundle Mia, 19 months, and her partner Miles. She runs Blossom and Bloom.
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