My motherhood by Leyla Rudolf

I don’t think I had, for even one moment, any idea of what motherhood was about until my first baby was placed in my arms. Of course you think you know what’s coming; constant nappy changes, sleepless nights and enough peek-a-boos and play dates to last a lifetime. And you know your social life is going to be on the back burner (until they leave home at least). But I didn’t know a thing really.

 

Firstly, it’s the rush of pure, all-encompassing love you experience. After nine whole months of carrying this teeny being inside of me, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel when it came to finally meeting him. Then he arrived and he was amazing; a 5Ilb 9oz beautiful bundle with a miniature face, elfin ears and a full head of hair. I didn’t want to let him go. And there isn’t a feeling or experience in the world that could beat it.

 

Motherhood also means worrying. Constantly. Imagine your most stressful moment ever, then times it by 1000. This is what being a mum does to you. (That and crying at everything. Yes. Even X-Factor). And it doesn’t just begin at the sound of their first cry or their first cough. When both of my children were born the first question I asked was, ‘is he/she alright? and to be honest, it probably crosses my mind Every. Single. Day.

 

Most importantly, motherhood has meant being totally and utterly selfless. I’ve traded in lounging in bed, regular gym sessions and three hour long pub lunches for 6am noisy wake-up calls, cheese sandwiches and the odd run around the park. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss some of it (mostly the pub part) but my baby’s smile, my little boys brilliant banter and hearing him call ‘mom mom’ won’t ever fail to melt my heart. And truly, I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

 

Leyla is mama to Max, three and Elsie, four months. She blogs at Potions and Prams

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