My Motherhood by Kyra Montagu
09 08 2013 • My Motherhood
What an honour to be asked to write about something so profoundly meaningful and yet something that I might never have done without prompting… Motherhood, the greatest privilege a woman can enjoy should she so choose to! Bitter-sweet at times, and deeply nourishing, nurturing and delicious at others… Oh the joys of the roller coaster I have chosen to make my life!
Simon, my husband and I decided to live in the Dominican Republic and build Ki-Ra – a holistic hotel and sustainable finca on the Caribbean sea, a life’s dream and a lot of fun! I am a naturopathic doctor, yoga teacher and specialist in ayurvedic treatments, herbal medicine and tropical holistic living. I am also the mother of 4 stunning children who share our life.
Oscar’s 8, Iris’s 6, Finlay’s 5 and Talulah’s 1, each with their own character and spirit teach me more on a daily basis than I could learn from any self-development course or guru. Human nature shines through these little beings so strongly and gives me an opportunity to reflect upon my own actions and words every single day!
My approach to mothering is, I think, to try and encourage independence within them. So instead of running around after them, generally I like to sit back and get them to take responsibility for themselves. Obviously this is not always the case as I find myself in the middle of a raging fight, with skin and hair flying. I take a breath, wish I didn’t have to deal with it and then inevitably pile in too, trying to be the mediator with a calm voice and objective viewpoint but usually becoming either victim or outright attacker.
On a more serious note (especially after a deep yoga practice or meditation) I wonder if its what God feels like when observing us all trying to out-do each other all the time…? So what is it really like for me, Kyra, to be a mother? Ultimately it is the greatest experience of my life so far, that magical journey of pregnancy where every moment is just ‘special’, to the moment of birth when that deep bond materializes and words could never express that feeling of complete and total bliss. Then begins the physical relationship and the interaction, the differences of character and opinion, the absolute and unconditional love that pours from those innocent and pure baby eyes followed by the separation anxiety when they realize that you are not all one (though of course we actually are).
And so begins the journey, and as Mother, who is also still learning her own path, that terrible juxtaposition of wanting to give them freedom of choice, but wanting to protect them from all the ‘BS’ that we are bombarded with. – “What should we allow them to see, experience, hear”? And here I find myself today, my oldest is only 8; he thinks he is a ‘big’ kid, so do I to some degree, he is a wise old soul, so should I be listening to him, or him to me?
We chose the holistic route to raise our kids because we believe it is more integrated with nature and with the true essence of life. We live on a small farm on the Caribbean sea where the kids run free all day, they are ‘home-schooled’, we grow some of our food, have animals who wander through the house and we generally live outside. Our swimming pool is filled with sea-water, we are on the beach and our days consist of yoga, food, school and work, food, play, food, activities, food, play, bed with quite a bit of variety except the food part! And when they ask us if they can go to school to be with their friends we re-think the situation, go back to look at all the local schools and then come back to the same conclusion, that we will try it out this way for another year and see where we get to.
I am living my dream, for sure, I love my life, my husband and kids, my work and the place we call home and it is all integrated into one for the moment. Not for one minute am I implying that motherhood is all easy riding, and there are certainly moments when I just want to go away – on my own; but for the most part it is my greatest teaching and I am learning to accept that the hard parts are where I end up learning the most, especially about myself!
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