My motherhood by Clemmie Hooper

I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but I also always wanted to be a midwife and that was always going to come first. But life doesn’t always turn out how you plan…

 

I was 23 when I had my first daughter and all my friends were living their lives to the max in London, starting new jobs and earning their first real income since graduating. I felt so out of the loop, joining baby groups and trying to meet other mums, but everyone was in their late thirties and I never really felt like I fitted in.

 

I longed for the life I should have been having as I watched my girlfriends having what seemed to be the best time of their lives, but on the other hand I adored my baby daughter so much I never wanted to contemplate her not being here. I almost felt that because I had made this huge decision to have a baby in my early twenties, I had to do it right and I should never appear to not be coping or enjoying it.

 

Eventually I met a few great mums, who to this day I still consider some of my best friends. And it really is thanks to meeting these mums that I’ve got through some of the best and worst times of being a mother. They’ve made me realise it doesn’t matter what age you are when you become a mama, how much money you’ve got in the bank – because we’re all in this together. Broken sleep, teething, weaning, potty training and toddler demands, we all know how amazing it feels one minute and how rubbish the next…

 

Six years later, I’m now married and have two gorgeous little girls. If someone had told me I would be a married and a mama of two at the tender age of 29, I would have laughed in their face.

 

As a midwife I watch women becoming mamas right in front of my eyes, and often wonder how will they find the incredible journey they are about to embark on. Nobody will ever be able to prepare you for it: you just have to kind of muddle through.

 

My advice: find some like-minded mamas who will share your journey with you. And be willing to say, “Hey, I’m having a really crap day today and I’d rather be at work or in a great wine bar!”. Stick together mamas – it’s a tough old world out there but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

Clemmie Hooper is mama to Anya, six, and Marnie, three, and blogs at Gas & Air

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