My motherhood by Claire Smith

My motherhood is, in a nutshell, complicated.

 

I think it’s true what they say about nothing prepares you for becoming a parent and here I am, ten years later, and I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing. There is a lot of learning on the job that I didn’t expect, I honestly believed that it would be much more straightforward. I read the parenting books but there are so many things they don’t cover – like how to deal with a toddler who shoves all the toilet paper down the loo and what do you do with a ten year old who knows everything.

 

I love being a mum but I also sometimes don’t like it. Some days I’m filled with that overwhelming, unconditional, I’d do anything for them, kind of love. And other days I’m filled with frustration, anger, Daddy-come-home-now, yearning for life before I became a mother. I adore my children but I didn’t anticipate the days when I wouldn’t like them very much.

 

I’ve discovered that motherhood is the most rewarding yet hardest job I have ever done. I joke that my children have inherited the very best of me and the very worst. I laugh but it scares me too because I see myself in their stubbornness, their selfishness, their laughter and their love. And nobody else in this life can make me feel the way they do.

 

I think my job is to give them roots and to give them wings. And it’s the wings part that keeps me going some days… the thought that one day they will be able to survive in the world without me, and also that I’ll be free to sit on the sofa, watching trash TV.

 

That, of course, and the sweet smell of my daughter’s hair, the soft kisses from my youngest who says he loves his mummy most in the world and the times when the know-it-all ten year old turns to me for advice.

 

I guess those moments make it all worthwhile in the end.

 

Claire is mama to Charlie, 10, Lyra, 8, and Miller, 4 and blogs at Ministry of Mum.

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