01 05 2013 • Tanya Kazeminy Mackay
Many new mamas, myself included, don’t have a lot of experience with kids before having one ourselves. So the only real information we have on how to be a mother is from our own mothers. And whilst my mom is awesome, and I turned out just fine (I mean really, I turned out ok – right?) I wanted to move the thinking forward for my own kids. What I found myself doing unconsciously was looking to friends who were more experienced than I was a pretty good grip on their lives and offspring and I would scrutinise them for clues. After a few years I had naturally handpicked 2 or 3 friends whose parenting styles (and kids) I really admired and, after my own mother, they became my go-to I whenever I had any issues or questions.
What I am suggesting is that now is a really good time for you to be thinking, “Who do you know that is a great mama?”. Once you’ve decided, create a time to see her, or call her and ask her any questions that are weighing on you. Be sure to tell her why you are asking her, I mean who doesn’t like to hear they are a great mama? It is the most important job in our worlds, and if she is getting it right, she will be so appreciative that you noticed!
If you build up a little network of mama mentors – a few awesome mama friends, and hopefully your own awesome mama, then you will feel like you have a support network to turn to in times of need or even just times of wonder.
I know we use forums for questions as well, but the beauty of having a consistent source of advice is that you come to understand the weaknesses and strengths of your friends. On a forum if someone tells you to hit the panic button over a cough you have no idea if they are level headed or a hypochondriac. With chosen friends you know what their tendencies are.
Even now, 14 years on, I still turn to my mama mentors in times of worry or wonder.
They know their ‘mama mentor’ titles, and they know how dear they are to me and my boys and how thankful I am to them for all the advice, insight and laughs they have given over the years!
But just in case I haven’t said so recently – Sian, Lily, Efua and Rhonda… thank you!
for more info about mama mio visit www.mamamio.com
Enjoyed this? Share this with other mamas...
Want more wit and wisdom from us mamas?