Is there (sex) life after a baby?
02 05 2013 • Mama Mio
There’s a certain irony in the fact that something that was created by lovemaking has the ability to destroy all urges to do any lovemaking. But don’t worry, it’s not forever. Here are our five phases of your mama sex life…
Phase 1 – The mama-to-be
You won’t get pregnant, because you’re already erm… pregnant. But that’s where the appeal ends. Swollen ankles, sore breasts and indigestion do not make for an erotic experience, be warned.
Our tip: Save it for when you’re overdue and praying to go into labour, as that’s one old wives tale that does have some science behind it.
Phase 2 – The brand new mama
Sex is so far down your list of priorities it’s practically funny. (Or it would be if you didn’t have the baby blues.) How can I put this delicately – He would be well advised to steer far clear of any advances at this point in your new mama life.
Our tip: This part seems like it’s forever. It’s not. You’ll feel like ‘you’ again soon. OK, soon-ish.
Phase 3 – The busy mama
Take note, men of the world. A woman adopting the hands and knees position on the carpet when she has a two-month old baby is unlikely to be inviting you to take part in any ‘relations’. In fact, look a little more closely and you will see she is changing a nappy. She still loves you. She’s just busy. Wait your turn.
Our tip: He’s a grown up man, he’ll cope. Let’s focus on the baby for now…
Phase 4 – The lioness emerges
After about a year, you start to feel stronger. Fitter. More confident. And fiercely protective of your baby, like a lioness with her cub. To the point where the leader of the pride (aka your other half) doesn’t get a look in. The result? You become more desirable than ever to him…
Our tip: Hang on in there, the final phase is next.
Phase 5 – You’re back – and better than ever
We reckon it takes about two years to get your mojo back. You might find it sooner – or later. But it will happen, and the great thing is, it’s not about being the old you again – that person is long gone. You’re a mum now, and you’ve got new love, new confidence and new power. You and your other half have made a new person together: making love will never be the same again. Enjoy!
Our tip: Get a babysitter and make time for each other now and again – it’s a long time before that baby is leaving home…
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