Get your hands off my bump!

Feel like you’re public property now you’ve got a bump? Here are our top five things that make us want to shout, “Leave me alone”… and what to do about them.


“That’s a ten pounder, for sure”

Gee, thanks, lady at the checkout in the supermarket. Because it’s my first and I already have anxieties about giving birth – so that really helps my concerns…


Mama Mio’s tip

Instead of having nightmares for the rest of your nine months about delivering a baby elephant, why not politely point out that giving birth is indeed a quick way to get rid of an extra 10 pounds, and ask what method she was going to use to shift hers…



The bump-gropers

In what other possible situation would complete strangers touch your abdomen? None. So why do they do it when you are pregnant? We don’t know. People are crazy.


Mama Mio’s tip

Scare tactics are good in this scenario. Fake a contraction. Tell them you think your waters are breaking. Make a strange noise. Do anything to get the crazy people to take their hands off you. Then go home and lock the door.



“Not long to go, dear?”

Yes, actually, lady in the queue at the post office. I’m only six months. So technically, ages. And you saying that makes me want to burst into tears, so, thanks.


Mama Mio’s tip

She’s embarrassed you – now you embarrass her. Straight face, then – “I’m not actually pregnant”. Watch her squirm. Then buy your stamps and get out of there.



“Not much of a bump – is the baby OK?”

Why would you say that to anyone? And yet people do. If you’re lucky enough to be ‘neat’ or ‘compact’ when you’re pregnant (and not all of us manage this!) then these comments are not what you want to hear.


Mama Mio’s tip

Here’s a comeback for you. “It’s all about wearing clothes that flatter – I could give you a few tips if you like”. She won’t hang about.



“Hey, darling – is it mine?”

One of the Mama Mio team was lucky enough to have this shouted at her by a construction worker at eight months pregnant. It’s so bad; it’s funny – if you’re in the right mood.


Mama Mio’s tip

If you’re not in the right mood, try this: “Yes it is. Can I have your social security number for the child support payments?” You’ll have never seen a man move so fast.

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This Post Has 1 Comment

  1. Our reason for mama mio musings is to inform, intrigue and amuse. If by chance we offend we apologise, but please know our intentions are good. As with all good conversations it is an exchange. We look forward to chatting with you. Tanya x

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